Or just be an adult and STOP.
You must have never been a smoker. If only it was that easy.
Dan, you didn't fail. You just haven't completely succeeded yet!
Keep trying!
I quit 15 years ago. I was a 3 pack a day smoker. When I do something... I do it all the way! I quit cold turkey after having just bought and opened a fresh carton of smokes.
I used lots of techniques to quit, and they all helped, but the fact is that I quit because I was pregnant, and it was much easier to do it for the health of my child than for myself.
So, do it for your wife if you can't do it for yourself. Think about her hell when you get lung cancer and she has to take care of you while you die. These very negative thoughts about the effects of cigs helped me a lot at the time. Morbid as they may be.
LOTS OF GUM helped. LOTS of gum.
Finding something to keep my hands busy helped. Keep a pen handy that you can fidget with it when you want a smoke.
I found that smoking was more than 50% habit. Change what you do during those times that you want a smoke. After dinner? go for a walk instead.... or screw it... indulge in something else, like chocolate or some other flavor-related reward. Fat is better than dead!
Another thing I had to do was decide....NO EXCUSES! I did NOT accept excuses from myself. "Just one." Nope! "I'll really quit tomorrow" Nope! "I've had a stressful day and I deserve it." Nope! I told myself that ahead of time and it helped.
I didn't have one cigarette after I decided to quit, not even a puff.
You can do it Dan! Keep trying!!!