Shrivel
Requires therapy.
- Location
- Acworth, GA
So I've been at the coast for the past week riding the surf. I've had some crazy looking bails in the past, but today was the craziest, if for no other reason than the onlookers must have been thinking "WTF was THAT???"
The worst part of the story: it didn't occur in the surf. I've been having some issues with my couch this week, so we packed it up early and I decided I was going to hang out in the waterway for a while. I'm trailing behind this kinda large boat pulling a couple tubers (don't worry, I was WAY back) and I see this monster cruiser come around the bend throwing up the biggest wake I've just about ever seen. Just behind the cruiser is this little pontoon boat (the audience). I decide to move outside to the left of the first boat's wake, so that I'm clear of it when it's time to hit the monster. I thought I was far enough away, but apparently one or both of the boats must have slowed, because just as I'm about to run up the huge mountain of a wake, something terrible happened.
I gassed up the side of the wake as usual, but the rift in the space/time continuum caused my ski to enter an alternate reality where up and down have switched places. My ski literally launched completely upside down. My feet didn't come out of the footholds as much as my body just couldn't keep up with the ski. I must have been pretty high in the air, because I remember looking up at my right hand still on the handle, the handlepole pointing straight up at the sky, and at the other other end of the pole this huge 350 pound blue weight upside down and heading for me at the bottom of the pile. I thought "well crap." I hit the water and a second later the ski did too, luckily not on top of me. Now most normal people would probably have a first thought something like, "Wow, I'm still alive." Not a jetskier. We all know a jetskier's first thought...
Damn, that must have looked really stupid.
I climbed back on my ski, glanced at the audience in the pontoon boat who looked like they had just seen Bozo the clown backflip a tractor trailer (which is not too far from the truth), and headed down the waterway like I pull that kinda mess every 20 minutes.
The worst part of the story: it didn't occur in the surf. I've been having some issues with my couch this week, so we packed it up early and I decided I was going to hang out in the waterway for a while. I'm trailing behind this kinda large boat pulling a couple tubers (don't worry, I was WAY back) and I see this monster cruiser come around the bend throwing up the biggest wake I've just about ever seen. Just behind the cruiser is this little pontoon boat (the audience). I decide to move outside to the left of the first boat's wake, so that I'm clear of it when it's time to hit the monster. I thought I was far enough away, but apparently one or both of the boats must have slowed, because just as I'm about to run up the huge mountain of a wake, something terrible happened.
I gassed up the side of the wake as usual, but the rift in the space/time continuum caused my ski to enter an alternate reality where up and down have switched places. My ski literally launched completely upside down. My feet didn't come out of the footholds as much as my body just couldn't keep up with the ski. I must have been pretty high in the air, because I remember looking up at my right hand still on the handle, the handlepole pointing straight up at the sky, and at the other other end of the pole this huge 350 pound blue weight upside down and heading for me at the bottom of the pile. I thought "well crap." I hit the water and a second later the ski did too, luckily not on top of me. Now most normal people would probably have a first thought something like, "Wow, I'm still alive." Not a jetskier. We all know a jetskier's first thought...
Damn, that must have looked really stupid.
I climbed back on my ski, glanced at the audience in the pontoon boat who looked like they had just seen Bozo the clown backflip a tractor trailer (which is not too far from the truth), and headed down the waterway like I pull that kinda mess every 20 minutes.
